Sunday, January 30, 2011

"F" is for "Furious."

I thought that I graduated from high school a while ago. And even then, am I strange to believe that human beings should be competent enough even whilst being in high school to not act like a three year old child?

No, I didn't "hook up" with your ex-boyfriend while he was still with you. I'm not into that.
No, I didn't "hook up" with your ex-boyfriend while, nor after he was with you. I have no interest in him. Especially not now.

I have seriously thought about every single person who I have met within the past year, or so. Saying that I am disgusted by about 70% of them is very easy for myself.
You can go ahead and fuck yourself, since no one else will.

Fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you too.

I really do not comprehend this targeting process that people have always had with me.
I will do practically anything for practically anyone. I guess that that act just isn't fucking good enough.

You're a douchebag because you said that he had no right to talk about shit that he didn't actually know. That he thought that he knew everything, but he didn't, and that he shouldn't feel as if he does, nor did know anything about any relationship of mine. You're an asshole because you went on to a person's ex-girlfriend and decided to talk shit about me, though you know absolutely nothing.
And I knew it. I knew it all along. You are just like any other girl. A piece of shit, rumour hungry, bullshitting fuckface who feeds off of drama and doesn't just let live. "Drama." What a stupid word. I suppose that the form does coincide with the people associated, though. In simple terms, I think that you are stupid.

And to the girl who this specific douchebag ruined the day of, I am sorry. I never talked to her about anything, except for our own little circle with some other loser who she still obsesses over. Never would I wish for that act to happen to anyone who is still in pain from any kind of relationship loss. Strangely though, you seem very friendly with each other now. Maybe a mutual jealousy? Who the fuck knows.

Interesting. I wonder what else was said.

I don't understand how you could have thought that I wouldn't find out.
Don't do that pretend bullshit.
We aren't playing house.

I just cannot understand the douchebaggery that is going on. That has gone on. I suppose that everything will fall.

I am really glad that I haven't gotten myself into any actual relationship for the past year and practically a half.
I am in constant worry that there is someone so much better out there.
Constant worry of not choosing someone right.
And I am so young, I understand.
I may not have to worry, but I do.
I just don't want to end up with a loser.
Though, it seems like the only people who are around, who have interest in me, and show that interest, just end up being lame.
But maybe that is because I am picky as fuck.

Maybe I should just run.
Inspired to live.
Inspired to give in to the itch. The itch of just leaving, and never telling anyone where I'm going.
Where I'll end up.
No plans ever.
No plans with anyone.
Because I end up hating everyone.

I make friends and have boys at my feet easily, yet I am never satisfied, because they will all always let me down. At least one mannerism, or another. At least one time.

And I cannot explain to you enough how much I hate my inability to have trust in anything.

I want one person, I don't care the relation, to just come into my life, and be amazing.

No rumours.
No ridiculous lies.
No water left in dishes.
No unhealthy dietary habits.
No horrible tastes.

And now I am just rambling.
I just have so much on my mind right now.

I suppose, though, that my inability to trust comes well with human beings. They are so easily untrustworthy. Including myself.

You have been so wrong to me.
So many of you.
I'm not exactly the best person to piss off.

I've really only ever had myself, and apparently, that continues.
I'm okay with it.
I'm not okay that practically everyone I have known does not think that I can even hold my own.
It's all I've ever known to do, and people don't even think that I can do that.
I'm not dating you because I don't want to, not that I don't want to get "hurt."
I'm not a pussy.
I don't need someone to "take care" of me.
No one does.

I just want out.

So, anything that you think of me. Anything that you've probably heard. All of that is, simply put, bullshit.

And you're probably bullshit too.