Thursday, August 18, 2011

That would be lovely.

I really have nothing fantastic to say. Nothing extravagant, at least. Or rather, nothing that would seem out of the ordinary to any ordinary person.

But honestly, my life is glorious.
The past few weeks have been relieving. Beautiful. Fulfilling.

Oh my God. A weight has been lifted.

Have you ever had one moment in your life that completely 180'd everything? Holy shit.
Words are not enough to describe how great I feel.
And I've actually been eating! You see, I physically cannot eat when I am stressed. I uncontrollably turn into a bitter anorexic girl who stares at food. Today, I had a cookie, a large frozen yogurt (nomz on Culture Shock), a latte (nomz on Gimme), two wraps (nomz on GreenStar), a muffin and a sandwich... and maybe more? That's amazing compared to how I've been.

It's just brilliant seeing myself happy.

I've been surrounding myself with amazing people. Old friends and new.
Talk about the new people that I've met. Jesus Christ. These people are awesome.
I think to myself, "Where were these people all along?" And then, I remember how they came around at a perfect time. Even the people who do not seem like they should be significant in my life, they are.

I love everyone.

And I am really enjoying going out and doing things by myself. I used to hate doing that.

I saw a movie today by myself for the first time. I saw "The Trip." It's about two comedians who play themselves and go on a road trip together. They go to restaurants and judge the food, at the same time as being bloody hilarious. Jesus. They are so brilliant. Their relationship kind of reminds me of one of my friendships. I highly recommend this film. It's a British comedy, so I'm sure that it will serve to only a specific taste (haters...), but oh gosh, everyone should see it. Anyone in the Ithaca area, it's playing at Cinemapolis.
Seeing this movie also reminded me of how good life is with the little things. What means the most. And it taught me how to laugh by myself whilst watching a movie. Strangely, I do not believe that I have ever done that before.

Over the past few weeks, I feel as if I've found myself. You see, right after school finished, I came to a conclusion that I had no idea who I was. I knew how I felt and how I acted, but I just didn't know my actual identity. With various things that have happened, though, after the past month, I clearly am on track. I really enjoy being back to my normal self. I just let things go with the flow. I don't allow too much to get to myself. I just want to live. I only wish to live.

From awesome parties full of nerdy talk to just studying for countless numbers of hours each day in different cafes and such, wow.
I am in love with who I am right now.

And right now, I'm trying to figure out what I want to do.
Get a job and stay in Ithaca? Stay with someone somewhere else, get a job, and move to someplace completely random where I know almost no one? Try to snag an internship far away? Go to school next fall?
Oh God, and I want to see your face again soon.
Should I go to school for journalism first and maybe have two college careers? Or should I major in psychology and minor in journalism at the same time? Eegadz. Too much going on and I like it. I like it all.
Oh God, and I want to see your face again soon.
I guess whatever happens, happens.

I have one specific idea on my mind, though, that I would enjoy greatly if it just happened somehow. In the universe, that this one thing would work out and make my life special and things. Life is special in general, of course. Life is awesome... but just sayin', this stars-in-the-sky action would make me feel super good.
Oh God, that oh-my-rah-adorable.

You ignore me for a day, and then expect me to be chipper and hang around?
Kbaino. Assholes get nothing.

And I wish that you'd just be normal, but I guess that this is you being normal. I just hadn't seen it until the end.

I'm kind of worried that I'll end up going back to how I was for almost two years. Though, I then remember how fun my life was and how full life was for myself, and I get very chipper.
I just want one thing to happen soon, and then have a million other great things fall into place.

That would be lovely.

Honestly, I can say it a thousand times, and a thousand times more. I just feel so good about life. I feel so complete, even though I need to get a lot of different things done. I just, wow. Just wow.

I wish that people would have thought provoking/nerdy/geeky conversations with me more.

I'm never interested in the same type of talk again and again.
Small talk.
Unless, of course, there is no other talk for a special situation other than small talk.
But the people who continuously say the same boring shit...does anyone else have this problem?

Lately I've been having FAR more random people talking to me. I don't know if this is because I'm generally more happy now, and therefore more approachable, or if it's because I've been hanging out with myself often. Whatever it is, I like and dislike it. I suppose that it depends on the person and what he/she has to say. For example, today, I got asked by some random wannabe hippies if what was on my face were a labret or ice cream. Why? I have no idea.

Right now, I'm singing to Sia and just having a great night of doing nothing, besides enjoying myself.

I really enjoy life.

Now I am just hoping that I pass my boards exam and get my license.

That would be lovely.

And if more rights would just fall into my life.

That would be lovely.

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