Monday, January 18, 2010
I feel so detached and alone tonight. Everything that I do and say is wrong to everyone, except for myself. I feel like an asshole, but everything just has to be said. I'm done with people and places, again.
I hate how I end romances, and then people don't want to talk to me, they go back to the "norm." I see how everything was just set to make me interested and lure me in like a fish with a worm. I am glad that I saw it all before, though. Before anyone got their hopes up too high. You're a liar.
I hate smoking.
I think that I am just going to stop caring. I'm just going to stop being one of those people who always gets stepped on, forced upon, and just stop with all of these people who are so inconceivably overrated.
I wish that I had girl friends to have little sleepovers with and have conversations of life, love, and drama, because sometimes I just need to be a girl. I think that I may be going insane because I have become so detached from being a "normal" teenager, and detached from being a girl, because I just hate them so much. It all may just seem ridiculous, but this is how I feel.
I have so many plans, but I cannot actually plan any of them, because my actual plans never work out. I can only do things that are spur of the moment... nothing happens for me. Nothing actual, at least. I hate how I cannot plan anything! Ever! Agh, it's just that bothersome.
Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and I have done nothing really to help anything nor anyone. I talked logically in the name of same sex marriage on a diary entry of a friend... that was it... and that is nothing. My day was completely wasted by sleep and tragic realizations that nothing is okay right now... and I don't know why my moods keep going on and off.
I definitely am feeling a blog coming up about organised religion and how it's a fucking joke, splurged all over the television and radio. Religion = Cult. Have a nice day, Jesus lovers.
Hopefully one way or another I can get my hands on some ten gauge labrets... that'd be mighty nifty. I should tape up my earlobes, since I'm never going to get in between plugs. Inch, here I come.
I really just need to dance out all of this bullshit. I want nothing more than to be raving within a large group of people who I do not know.
The show last night was really good. I guess that they raised two hundred dollars for Haiti. Good people, good music, good times. I wonder if someone hit my Third Eye in the pit, and that's why it has some weird raised part on the bottom. :/ I love Summer People. Seriously.
I'm not tired at all.
And I'm angry that these people are happier than me.
Ignorance is fucking bliss.
At least my hair looks awesome now that I've cut it and bleached a line into it. The upsides are so ridiculously simple.
Oh, and I just laughed at this: "A new poll found that crying children are the worst airplane passengers. The second worst airplane passengers? Terrorists."