I don't know what is causing this insomnia. Maybe it's the constant thought. Maybe it's the light. Maybe it's my ridiculous sleeping schedule as of late. Maybe it's because I'm starving. Maybe it's that latte that I drank around 8:30.
No matter what, I don't like it.
I feel like getting shit done, but I have nothing to really do that makes sense to do this late... or rather early.
I read two long chapters from a book called Without a Net. I still like none of the characters, which means that I still do not enjoy the real people, since they actually do exist. A real life story about living out of a car with three children. But at least the book is good thus far.
I wrote some random shit down for my faces collection that I'm going to work on. I'd love to actually incorporate a woman's face, but for some off reason I can never really get it down. How hard is it to draw a doll? Apparently really hard. Unless I go into huge detail, then I can just take two months and plow through a realistic portrait of someone. I'm trying to figure out which moods I would like to convey in charcoal, though. I have what I would assume to be angst, something for what I'd presume to be pride, and I have something written down for wrath. I want to do something for romance, "love," whatever you want to call it. I wrote a poem, but I am fairly shotty at love poems, so I am unaware if it is any good, or not. Maybe some of it is good, and I could just detach certain parts, and add others to make it more... my style. Instead of seeming mushy, I suppose. I am not exactly one to write something positive about romantic interaction, ha.
I do want to, though, do my drawings on different kinds of fiber. I've already done one on a regular stretched canvas, but I think that doing one on a paper bag would be awesome. Just anything that I can find, or something. Maybe a piece of wood. Maybe just a large sheet of paper.
And I'm writing about stuff that no one cares to read about.
Lately I've noticed that a song can just completely change my mood.
If I listen to something sad, I become depressed.
If I listen to something revealing, I feel open and breathing.
If I listen to something lovey dovey, I feel immersed in that "crush" feeling.
I don't know if I should just go for the ride of being able to be controlled by lyrics so easily right now, or if I should be a bit wary.
Of course music has always had an effect on my general mood, but the act has always been when I was already feeling the way the music conveyed the artists' moods and feelings.
Now music has been completely controlling the way that I feel.
It's like I am stripped of personality and self control.
But maybe this is a sign. A sign that I should not feel like I am in complete control. That I need to just "go for the ride," so to speak. Delight my life with even more spontaneity than I already do.
It has been a great break from reality.
I want my Third Eye back. Of course, we never lose it, but I mean that I physically want my microdermal back. So badly. I feel so... incomplete.
I haven't posted a blog that has completely ran on tangents in a while.
I am hoping for an extremely rad 2011.
God, I am so fucking hungry.
I watched Scott Pilgrim vs. The World tonight. Finally. That was much overdue. I absolutely loved it.
My hair grows fast. I can't wait until it starts to curl up all adorable again.
I want something really good to happen.
I think that this may be a green Christmas. Tonight felt like Spring.
And I can't wait for stuffing.
I know how I feel right now. I know everything that I need.